Amy's finger was so swollen that she couldn't get
her ring off. She didn't think her finger was broken because she could still
bend it. It had been a week since her dad shoved her into the wall, but her
finger still hurt a lot.
Amy hated the way her dad called her names and
accused her of all sorts of things she didn't do, especially after he had been
drinking. It was the worst feeling and she just kept hoping he would stop.
Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal,
or a combination of any or all of these. Abuse can also be neglect, which is
when parents or guardians don't take care of the basic needs of the children
who depend on them.
Physical abuse is often the most easily
recognized form of abuse. Physical abuse can be any kind of hitting, shaking,
burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing, beating, and other actions that
cause physical injury, leave marks, or cause pain.
Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact
between an adult and anyone younger than 18; between a significantly older
child and a younger child; or if one person overpowers another, regardless of
age. If a family member sexually abuses another family member, this is called
Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to
identify because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional
abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly
criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and
feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and cause damage
just as physical abuse does.
Neglect is difficult to identify and define. Neglect
occurs when a child or teen doesn't have adequate food, housing, clothes,
medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a parent doesn't
provide enough emotional support or deliberately and consistently pays very
little or no attention to a child. This doesn't mean that a parent doesn't give
a kid something he or she wants, like a new computer or a cell phone, but
refers to more basic needs like food, shelter, and love.
Family violence can affect anyone. It can happen in
any kind of family. Sometimes parents abuse each other, which can be hard for a
child to witness. Some parents abuse their kids by using physical or verbal
cruelty as a way of discipline.
Abuse doesn't just happen in families, of course.
Bullying is a form of abusive behavior. Bullying someone through intimidation,
threats, or humiliation can be just as abusive as beating someone up. People
who bully others may have been abused themselves. This is also true of people
who abuse someone they're dating. But being abused is no excuse for abusing
Abuse can also take the form of hate crimes
directed at people just because of their race, religion, abilities, gender, or
It may sound strange, but people sometimes have
trouble recognizing that they are being abused. Recognizing abuse may be
especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person
might think that it's just the way things are and that there's nothing that can
be done. People who are abused might mistakenly think that it's their fault for
not doing what their parents tell them, breaking rules, or not living up to
Growing up in a family where there is violence or
abuse can make a person think that is the right way or the only way for family
members to treat each other. Somebody who has only known an abusive
relationship might mistakenly think that hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, or
angry name-calling are perfectly normal ways to treat someone when you're mad.
Seeing parents treat each other in abusive ways
might lead a child to think that's OK in relationships. But abuse is not a
typical or healthy way to treat people.
If you're not sure you are being abused, or if you
suspect a friend is, it's always OK to ask a trusted adult or friend.
Why Does Abuse
If you're one of the thousands of people living in
an abusive situation, it can help to understand why some people abuse — and to
realize that the abuse is not your fault. Sometimes abusers
manipulate those they're abusing by telling them they did something wrong or
"asked for it" in some way. But that's not true.
There is no single reason why people abuse others.
But some factors seem to make it more likely that someone may lose control,
yell, hit, or hurt.
Sometimes, growing up in an abusive family can lead
a person to think that example is a good way to discipline others. Others
become abusive because they're not able to manage their feelings properly. For
example, someone who is unable to control anger or can't cope with stressful
personal situations (like the loss of a job or marriage problems) may lash out
at others inappropriately. Also, drinking too much and/or drug use can make it
difficult for some people to control their actions.
Certain types of personality disorders or mental
illness might also interfere with someone's ability to relate to others in
healthy ways or cause problems with aggression or self-control. Of course, not
everyone with a personality disorder or mental illness becomes abusive.
Fortunately, people who abuse can get help and
learn how to take responsibility for how they act — and learn ways to stop.
What Are the Effects
When people are abused, it can affect every aspect
of their lives, especially self-esteem. How much harm is done often depends on
the situation and sometimes on how severe the abuse is. Sometimes a seemingly
minor thing can trigger a big reaction. Being touched inappropriately by a
family member, or being told to keep secrets, for example, can be very
confusing and traumatic.
Every family has arguments. Friends, couples,
coaches, and teachers can get upset, frustrated, or have a bad day. We all go
through difficult times when someone is stressed and angry. Punishments and
discipline — like removing privileges, grounding, or being sent to your room —
Yelling and anger can happen in lots of parent-teen
relationships and in friendships — although it can feel pretty bad to have an
argument with a parent or friend. But if punishments, arguments, or yelling go
too far or last too long it can lead to stress and other serious problems.
Teens who are abused (or have been in the past)
often have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. They may not do well at
school because they are angry or frightened, or feel like they just don't care
Many people who are abused distrust others. They
may feel a lot of anger toward other people and themselves, and it can be hard
to make friends. Abuse is a significant cause of depression in young people.
Some teens can only feel better by doing things that could hurt them like
cutting or abusing drugs or alcohol. They might even attempt suicide.
It's common for those who have been abused to feel
upset, angry, and confused about what happened to them. They may feel guilty
and embarrassed and blame themselves. But abuse is never the fault of the
person who is being abused, no matter how much the abuser tries to blame
Abusers may manipulate somebody into keeping quiet
by saying stuff like: "This is a secret between you and me," or
"If you ever tell anybody, I'll hurt you or your mom," or
"You're going to get in trouble if you tell. No one will believe you and
you'll go to jail for lying." This is the abuser's way of making a person
feel like nothing can be done so he or she won't report the abuse.
People who are abused might have trouble getting
help because it means they'd be reporting on someone they love — someone who
may be wonderful much of the time and awful to them only some of the time.
People might be afraid of the consequences of
reporting abuse, either because they fear the abuser or the family is
financially dependent on that person. For reasons like these, abuse often goes
unreported and many kids and teens don't tell anyone what is going on.
What Should Someone
Who's Being Abused Do?
People who are being abused need to get help.
Keeping the abuse a secret doesn't protect anyone from being abused — it only
makes it more likely that the abuse will continue.
If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to
someone you or your friend can trust — a family member, a trusted teacher, a
doctor, or a school or religious youth counselor. Many teachers and counselors
have training in how to recognize and report abuse.
Telephone and online directories list local child
abuse and family violence hotline numbers that you can call for help. There's
also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ( 422-4453).
Sometimes people who are being abused by someone in
their own home need to find a safe place to live temporarily. It is never easy
to have to leave home, but it's sometimes necessary to be protected from
further abuse. People who need to leave home to stay safe can find local shelters
listed in the phone book or they can contact an abuse helpline. Sometimes a
person can stay with a relative or friend.
People who are being abused often feel afraid,
numb, or lonely. Getting help and support is an important first step toward
teens who have experienced abuse find that painful emotions may linger even
after the abuse stops. Working with a therapist is one way to sort through the
complicated feelings and reactions that being abused creates, and the process
can help to rebuild feelings of safety, confidence, and self-esteem.
2.0 WHAT IS ABUSE? definition, meaning,
explanation, types, categories
Abuse can bephysical,sexual,emotionalorverbal; it is intimidation or manipulation of another
person or an intrusion into another's psyche; the purpose is to control another
person. It is generally a long term pattern of behavior although specific short
term interactions can be labeled abusive. Recently the following categories
have been included in definitions of abusive behavior:social,economic,intellectualandspiritual. Withchild
also an important component. Abuse cuts across all social categories and classes.
It occurs in well educated high income areas and in low income working class
areas; it happens in all races and religions. It can occur in families,
extended families, in neighborhoods,schools,churches, and community groups. Both men and women can be
abusive and it can occur in virtually all age groups. The old can abuse the
young and theyoung
the old. While standards are
different in various cultures, it occurs in virtually all countries as well. Because it is often learned at an early age, it
can be passed from generation to generation like a family disease. This is
cycle of abuse. Abuse tends to happen to people in a weaker
position or to those who are willing to be accommodating. Thus astronger brother
will abuse a weaker brother; anagreeable and
supportive wife may be abused by her uncompromising husband; ateacher
may pick on a studentwho is having learning problems; aspoiled teenage boy
may manipulate a parentin an abusive manner. This site, AbusiveLove.com, is primarily about
verbal abuse although it discusses other abusive behaviors as well. It
concentrates on verbal because most abusive behavior includesverbal elementsand because words and tone of voice can be
indentified and changed more easily than other kinds. Attacking and changing
abusive verbal behavior will go a long way to preventing other abusive
& Effect Essay: Bullying
people know that bullying is wrong. Calling someone names has absolutely no
beneficial purpose. Moreover, hitting someone makes a bully feel good in the
moment while doing permanent damage to the person being victimized. With the
Internet, people now have even more opportunities to bully through
cyberbullying. This includes sending crude pictures, posting fake web pages, or
tweeting slanderous messages. Cyberbullying has subsequently led to a rise in a
completely new kind of bullying.
the effects of bullying is that it can change the victim’s personality. It can
cause people who are normally confident and happy to become self-conscious,
shy, and unsure. Additionally, victims of bullying may also become sad or
depressed. Their confidence might completely disappear, keeping them from
trying new things or trusting people. Once a person has been bullied, they may
hesitate to participate in situations where he or she might be ridiculed, such
as in public speaking or in sports. A bullying victim might even begin to
possess previously absent anxious
all the negative effects of bullying, there are even far more serious
consequences. People who have been bullied sometimes become so upset, scared,
or depressed that they see no worth in themselves and no way out of their
torment. There have been countless reports over the past few years of students
committing suicide because they were bullied. Meanwhile, there are times when
victims see no recourse but to seek revenge by serious acts of violence against
the bully and instigators. As a result of bullying, people can lose their
ability to love and trust, denying them the chance to experience a quality
relationship later in their life. They might find themselves as a submissive
partner or they may want to be completely alone. Compounding all of these
problems, victims often develop eating disorders, begin to self-injure, or
require extensive counseling. Social bullying can also leave people without a
supportive group of friends that they can lean on and spend time with.
unfortunate consequence of this is that bullying is often cyclical. People who
have been bullied can, in an attempt to gain their power and self-esteem back,
become bullies themselves. In relation to this, bullies who are not confronted
or stopped may find themselves in future positions where they can bully as
adults. This is where manipulative bosses and child abusers come from.
from its long-term effects, some consequences of bullying can be seen and felt
immediately. When one child calls another child names, the victim might cry and
a bruise might appear after a punch to the arm. However, some effects of
bullying are not always obvious to the naked eye. The results of bullying might
grow and appear over time, damaging a person in profound ways for the long
term. There are so many effects of bullying that they are impossible to count
or predict. This is why it is so important to stop bullying.
noun (plural taboos)
·a social or religious custom prohibiting or
restricting a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular
person, place, or thing:many taboos have developed around physical exposurethe
use of violence must remain a taboo in our society[mass noun]:Freud applies his
notion of taboo in three ways
·a practice that is prohibited or
restricted by social or religious custom:speaking about sex is a taboo in
·prohibited or restricted by social custom:sex
was a taboo subject
·designated as sacred and prohibited :the
burial ground was seen as a taboo place
verb (taboos, tabooing, tabooed)
·place under a taboo:traditional societies taboo
female handling of food during this period